The Five Greatest Webcomic Fights

Tom Spurgeon started it all with Greetings From the Land of Beatings: Five Superhero Fights I Like. Chris Mautner at Robot 6 followed up with Six Great Non-Superhero Fights. So naturally, like the homer I am, I asked myself: “Where are the greatest webcomic fights?”

The answer, of course, is that webcomics are well known for snarking on video games and spurring internet memes, but perhaps not so well known for action sequences. But there are some pretty goods ones. Leave it up to me to provide an answer to a question no one was asking in the most trivial way possible.

5.) Mr. Blank vs. Mr. Black, Sam & Fuzzy

The rivalry between the costumed Mr. Black and Mr. Blank plays throughout the entire “Noosehead” story. We learn about their previous friendship and how their life decisions caused them to take opposite sides in the conflict over who gets leadership of the Ninja Mafia. It even sucks in the main characters, who have to decide whose side they’re on. So when they come to blows, it only makes sense that it ends up being a battle royale with everyone in the cast, including Gertrude the ninja girl and the perpetually fearful Sam.

4.) Dr. McNinja vs. a horde of ninjas, The Adventures of Dr. McNinja

One of the earliest of the Dr. McNinja fights, and one of the best comes from “D.A.R.E. To Resist Ninja Drugs and Ninja Violence.” Dr. McNinja is off to rescue his father and his young ward, Gordito, and he has to hack his way through a horde of ninjas. On the way, you get the usual silly touches like chainsaw nunchucks and butt punches. I mean, this is Dr. McNinja, after all. But it’s still an incredibly solid action sequence from beginning to end.

3.) Pang vs. The Captain (and guards), Shi Long Pang

What sells this battle is that we know Pang is such a nice, friendly guy. What happens, though, is that when he’s pushed too far, his rage becomes impossible to contain. After a slow burn where he’s put into the stockades and his love interest, Yang Yang, is put in danger, Pang erupts in an uncontainable flurry of fists and kicks that shocks everyone around him.

2.) The One Electronic vs. Golgo, Rice Boy

It’s the most emotional one-on-one battle in webcomics. The One Electronic has been a father figure and mentor. Golgo remains a mysterious character, though you sense that he and T-O-E have a history. The conclusion of their scrape is absolutely shocking and senseless, yet it also leaves the reader wanting to press forward to see how the rest of the story unfolds.

1.) Problem Sleuth vs. Demonhead Mobster Kingpin, MS Paint Adventures

This is the Dragonball Z of all webcomic fights. I’ve heard fans complain that this fight goes on too long; Andrew Hussie even acknowledges this sometime in the middle of the fight. It doesn’t matter. I happen to think the ridculous lengths and fake-outs go a long way into transforming a comic that began as a parody of adventure games and turned into an epic battle that ends up tearing (and sewing back) the fabric of space and time itself.